


You can't live two lives.

by Katiekate



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Background Poly, Background Supernatural, F/F, F/M, Other, Tommy Merlyn is Alive, badass Felicity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3830539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiekate/pseuds/Katiekate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity Smoak was happy, successful and thought that Oliver Queen was the love of her life. But then, new people arrive and new feelings come forward, who will win the heart of Felicity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. любовь добра (love is kind)

"My very own super-scar" I mumbled as Sara took my shirt off my shoulders, and it totally slipped my mind that my back was scratched up from an attack a couple years ago. I heard Sara gasp, as she traced my scars. 

"What happened?" She softly asked, not loud enough to alert Dig and Oliver. I played with the buttons on the top Sara gave me to cover up with. 

"Everyone has a story Sara, just because I wasn't on an island called purgatory, doesn't mean I didn't serve my own hell" Sara sighed in acceptance and started to stitch up the bullet hole. Oliver and Dig were talking too quietly for me to hear, but I assumed it was about me. 

"Can you wait to talk about me, till I leave the Foundry?" I grumpily asked, wondering why the Advil was making me loopy.  
'All I want is a bottle of hard liquor, where's Dean when you need him?' I mumbled to myself, but obviously not that quiet. 

"Who's Dean?" Dig asked, curious. 

"I guess you can say he's my one true love, or not; I don't know anymore, last I heard he was banging Cas" I snorted, shaking my head. 'I know he claims to love both of us, but honestly me catching them in the act was, shocking. I love Cas too, I fell in love with him the same way Dean did, doesn't mean that I cheat' 

Oliver looked at me, and I looked away ashamed of my actions,biting my lip. 'I honestly don't know why I did that, all I know is that I didn't want to be pushed to the side, and I was tired of always feeling like I'm put to the back burner, with everyone' 

I sighed as the blue dress shirt started to fall off my shoulder and adjusted it, while looking to my purse which had my phone in it, debating on whether or not to call Dean. I heard Sara put away all the first aid supplies, and her gently squeeze my shoulder, "You shouldn't of done that, I wouldn't want your death on my shoulders, ever." Sara said sternly in my ear, loud enough for Dig and Oliver to hear.

"Yeah, we'll not to sound all martyr-y but your more important than me, and they need you all a lot more than me" I sighed, looking at Sara. She crumpled her eyebrows and shook her head, fast and knelt irnfront of me.  
"No, that's not true we couldn't do this without yo-" a bright light took over the foundry cutting Sara off, and then all of a sudden there was two men in the foundry, more like two of my men. Shit. There stood Dean and Cas in all their glory, the familiar suit and trenchcoat from Cas and the leather jacket, Henley and jeans from Dean. Oliver got into position with his bow, with Sara and Dig flanking him.

"Who are you?" Oliver demanded,  
"A friend was hurt, that's why I'm here" Cas spoke with a calm voice, but because I know him so well, i could tell he was concerned as his eyes kept going to me. Dean was looking me over, looking for any specific wounds.  
"It's alright, I know them, sadly" I whispered, which brought a confused look on Oliver's beautiful face. 

"Hey Fee" Dean sheepishly smiled, still with his cocky persona. 

Fuck me.


	2. дружба (friendship)

The shock of seeing them again, was indescribable. I felt like in that moment,my life is going to go back to hard, and difficult. "What are you guys doing here?! I told you two to stay out of my life, and to never speak to me" I yelled pulling Oliver's blue top over my shoulders, covering up. Cas looked to the ground embarrassed, while Dean looked angry, as usual.  
"Yeah, well when you find out that your girl gets hurt, I'll obviously be there, no matter how much she hates you" Dean explained. Which could of been romantic, if I didn't hate his guts at the moment.

  
"I'm none of your concern anymore, ok? So just go back to your life, and stay out of mine" I snapped. Having them around, I just wanted to crawl to them, and beg them to lay in bed and sleep with me, but I can't I'm done with that life, or even better over them. 'No your not, felicity let's be honest' that snippy voice taunted.

  
"You'll always be my concern, Felicity" Cas finally spoke, and Dean nodding along. Cas' care stand honest tone, almost broke me. I shook my head, and walked to my stuff and grabbed my keys ready to leave, and binge on mint chip and Game of Thrones. I dug around in my purse trying to locate my keys, but shocking, they weren't there. I groaned In frustration, and maybe a little pain.

  
"Where's my keys?!" I yelled as I turned around, which caused everyone on Team Arrow to look surprised, as i watched Dig sheepishly lift up his hands that had my abundance of keychains. But, Oliver pulled his hand down which got a glare out of me.

  
"You're not going anywhere, until you explain to me how these people know our base, and who they are to you" Oliver demanded. I gave him a dirty look, and rolled my eyes when he made no reaction.

"Can we not do this tonight, I just got shot for christs sake" I asked, feeling the exhaustion creep in. With the word shot, threw Dean into action and moved towards me, not caring about the many different weapons being pointed at him, completely throwing his safety for himself out the window.

  
"Where?" Dean growled with his Alpha male personality shining through, which caused me to roll my eyes, and raise my eyebrow at him. His eyes softened, and I could see the concern, which caused me to lower my guard.  
"My shoulder, it's not a big deal" I whispered, which was almost intimate, surprisingly. Considering I never wanted anything to do with him.

  
"You were supposed to have normal, Fee" He sighed, looking at the wound giving me a sad look. I shrugged my shoulders in a 'what can you do?' gesture, and a small smile as I shrugged his touch off my shoulder. I took a deep breath and walked to Oliver, and the rest of team arrow, the family I created.

  
"You guys were never supposed to meet, there a part of my past I didn't want reminded of, no offence to them, it was a time where i was stupid, and careless. I don't want you guys to think different of me, I'm Felicity Smoak the girl who has amazing IT skills and has a hopeless crush on her boss" I babbled, which created a small smile on Oliver's face.  
"Look, Liss' if you want them to forget everything, I can make that happen" Cas said, in his soft but hard voice, that radiated power. I rolled my eyes, 'always the angel Castiel' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let me explain, and then you guys leave? Got it?!" I demanded, not to be questioned by either parties. Everyone nodded with either a content nod or a confused nod, happy that I had everyone's answers, I sat on my desk chair.

  
"I have a half-brother, his names Ash" I lifelessly laughed, "Had, I guess is the proper way to say it, anyways he taught me everything I know about computers, he always would say that I was better at computers, but he was amazing. Ash, died in a fire at this place he stayed at, he thought of Ellen and Jo as family, which at the time I thought was absurd, but they were something special. Ellen hunted me down, and told me what happened to Ash, and that's where I met Dean and his little brother, Sam" I snorted, as I remembered the way the two brothers introduced themselves, not believing that Ash and I could be related.

"Dean, Sam, Ellen, Jo, everyone at the roadhouse were hunters" I picked up a pen, and twirled it in my hands. "Not the hunters who hunt deer and bear, but hunters who hunt the supernatural" I paused and took a look at Sara, Oliver and Dig , who had looks of understanding on their faces. They know, that's it.

  
"We know what hunters are, Felicity" Dig carefully replied. "What I want to know, is the chemistry and history between you three" Sara joked, not knowing that she was spot on. "I fell in love with Dean, and a couple of years later he cheated on me, with Cas. Now that is over, can you leave I don't need you two here" I snapped. Cas nodded sullenly, and kissed my forehead. "I love you, you know that?" He whispered, I nodded with tears in my eyes. In a blink of an eye, he was gone, with Dean. Leaving me in the Foundry with 3 curious people, waiting for a proper version of the story. 'This is going to be a long night' I moaned.


	3. сестра (sister)

After an awkward silence, I heard a small giggle which was coming from Sara.  
"I'm sorry, but those were the two hottest guys, and they left like you killed their cat. How do you manage to have everyone wrapped around your small pinky?"

I lifted my eyebrow, and giggled.  
"Honestly, that doesn't change my opinion of you, girl" Dig replied seriously, with Sara nodding along, I looked over to Oliver, and noticed he has his brooding face on.

"Oliver, I know I messed up but you got to believe me when I tell you, my past doesn't matte-"  
"Don't! Don't say that your past doesn't matter, because it does. I know I don't tell you everything, and I understand" I gently smiled; as I walked up to hug him. I breathed in his scent, knowing that he loved me, just not in the romantic way.

"You seemed pretty pissed at seeing them, want to explain that?" Oliver mumbled into my hair.

"Dean cheated on me, with Cas. I never really got over it, I love him and his brother but I can't ignore the fact he slept with his best friend, several times". I pulled away, and shrugged my shoulders.

"I love them both, and it's not right so it's easier to hate them"  
Oliver looked to the ground, and shuffled his feet, and I realized he was in the same spot with Laurel and Tommy.

"Wait? Your in love with both of them?" Sara tilted her head, as she sat on the chair bedside me.

"Yeah, and I hate myself for it, but I don't want to choose so I leave it, because no matter what the three of us with always be in love with each other" Sara nodded in agreement, and took my hand and intertwined our fingers, and gave a tight squeeze. In that one moment I know that I had Sara's undying support.

"Can we go home now?" I asked, reaching for my stuff knowing that I'll get a ride home from one of the guys. Sara smiled at me, and in that moment I could not of been more happy for her to be such a great friend to me, after I offered her to live with me, we became almost like sisters which is great because I've never had one before.

"I'll drive, then we can sit on the couch and binge on firefly" Sara quipped, as she took the keys out of Johns hands.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The drive home was uneventful, we sat in a comfortable silence. As I walked up to the door, Sara bumped my hip as she pulled out her keys from the baggy sweatpants she wore.

"So those so called 'aspirins', can I have a glass of wine with them?" I yelled, walking to my bedroom, slowly taking off the baggy blue shirt.

"Well no, but one glass shouldn't hurt" Sara laughed, as I heard her shuffling around in my old guest room, now labeled as Sara's room.

I winced, as I put my baggy MIT shirt slowly over my sore shoulder, I walked to the vanity and took off my makeup.  
"Ugh, I look gross" I muttered as I placed my glasses on to the table beside me and took off all my makeup.  
I heard Sara come to my room, and sit on my bed.

"I don't want you feeling less superior then me, when you said I was more important it didn't make sense, because you make me a better person Lis' I don't know what it is, but you have this light inside of you, and we all thrive on it" she explained emotionally, which made me look down in shame.

"I didn't want to be pushed to the side, like I do in so many relationships"

"Your not, and I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way! When I met you, I was fresh out of the league, and you talked to me like I was a real person not some assassin that killed a bunch of people" she shed a tear, and shamefully looked down. I walked beside her to the bed, and sat down saying nothing but grabbing her hand and intertwining our fingers.

"Your my best friend, even if I'm biased. All these things, that you've been through made you into this amazing woman, who risks her life to save everyone, now I don't know about you, but I think that's a hero not an assassin" Sara smiled, and took a deep breath.

"Let's go sit in the living room, and watch firefly and complain that they ended it too early" Sara winked, obviously changing the subject.

"Is there Mint Chocolate Chip involved?" I quipped, standing up.

"Don't ask stupid questions, Lis'"

I laughed following the short, but deadly blonde haired masked hero into our living room, and saw that Sara already had ice cream and firefly's opening credits on the main screen. And in that moment, I knew that I never wanted to lose my sister.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All right guys, that's chapter three finished! If you guys want to give any feedback, let me know. If you want to add in any ideas, or tips, shoot me a message.  
Thanks for reading!


	4. любимой

The next few days were boring, the incident with the boys and the supernatural aspect coming to light, was almost forgotten. Oliver was trying to woo Laurel, and laurel was falling heads over heels in love with him, again. I don't know how Tommy was reacting towards all this, since they haven't gotten back together since the Undertaking.

To me, Tommy Merlyn was, Oliver's best friend and surrogate brother to Thea which had nothing to do with me, so imagine my surprise when he shows up at my IT office.

"Felicity Smoak?" An unsure voice asked, I spun around on the chair faster then I ever think I've moved.

"Thea!- I mean Miss. Queen, what can I help you with?"

"My brother told me you where the person to go to, I don't know what happened to my computer, it won't turn back on, and-"

Knock knock

"Tommy?" Thea asked shocked, probably wondering why Tommy Merlyn was in my office. _'Which would be coincidental considering I'm wondering the same thing'_ I mused to myself.

"Hey Thea! I was just stopping by to talk to Miss. Smoak regarding some tech problems" with those words, i looked at him with an eyebrow raised knowing that he is lying, disregarding the fact that he didn't even have a tablet on him.

Thea gave an exaggerated eye-roll, which was all good natured until I thought, that she probably thought that i was involved in Tommy's life, sexually. Which almost caused a babble, but I stopped myself because Thea hasn't even said anything about partners.

"Not that I don't like having your presence in my office, what can I do for you?" I asked confused.

"I can come back?-" Thea started, but I cut her off.

"Your laptop will be an easy fix, let me fix it and you can be on your way" I smiled, winking.  
I fiddled with the battery, and a whole bunch of other things that would take too long to explain.

"It was just a loose wire, everything should be good as new"

"Wow you really are a genius" Thea murmured, a bit too loud which caused a rosy blush to come across my face. She thanked me, and off she went giving Tommy a side hug.

I looked at Tommy, and gestured for him to sit down in the empty seat across from me.

"I really don't have any Tech issues I just want to talk"

I nodded, as I turned my computer to sleep mode; "What's up?" I curiously asked.

Tommy shifts in my chair, as he looked towards the photo frame of me and Sara, making funny faces, "I find it odd that we've never met, your Oliver's girl-"

"No I'm not, im the IT girl totally different"

"As I was saying, Oliver's little blonde, Sara's best-friend and have never officially met the beautiful blonde behind the computer"

I shrugged and looked down, trying not to be intimidated by his good looks, get yourself together felicity, you see Diggle and Oliver shirtless all the time.

"As to why, I'm going to ask you on a date"

I looked up, startled beyond belief, did he just say date?! He wants to go on a date with me? Not beautiful Laurel Lance.

"Your with Laurel" I stated, trying to hold in my emotions.

"Not anymore, we want different things. It hasn't been the same since the Undertaking" which, I already knew I just didn't want to say anything, and make it awkward.

"Why would you want to go on a date with me?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"The first time I met you, you were yelling at Oliver telling him that nothing was worth the loss of himself. You told him to take his head out of his ass, and man up. That was the first thing I found out about you, you don't back down and you have this strength in you that I admire" Tommy explained, leaning his elbow on my desk.

Well, what's a girl supposed to say? No?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a excruciating long day, I went back to my apartment and poured a glass of wine, so I can get ready for my date.  
At 7 o'clock Sara walked in the door with a smile on her face, then frowned when she saw the state of the hallway.

"Liss' ? Are you there?" Sara cautiously called out.

"Help me! I can't find an outfit to wear tonight!" I screamed in frustration.

"Where are you going tonight?"

"What If I told you that, Tommy asked me out for dinner tonight?" I sheepishly asked, waiting for the lash out of going on a date with her sisters ex.

"Wear that new blue backless dress, you look smoking hot in that" Sara casually commented as she climbed over the pile of clothes.

"I don't get a 'what the hell Felicity, why are you going on a date with Tommy?' Because I've prepared a speech and everything"

"Tommy and Laurel have been over for a long time, practically since Ollie came home, and him going out with you. I'd say it was a perfect match, you guys both have had this love triangle, and having a steady relationship would be good for you. Even if it is just fun" Sara explained, shrugging and curling up on my bed, watching me put the dress on.

I looked at her, and smiled softly, "I think this will be a good thing, I want to try it"

Sara sat up and went to my makeup bag, "Let's get to work then" she winked playfully and grabbed my hand and sat me down so she could do my makeup.

At 7:30 the doorbell rang, signalling Tommy's arrival.  
I wiped my clammy hands on a nearby towel, and slipped my heels on and practically ran to the door. I swung open the door and there he was, beautiful as always.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's all folks! The next chapter is going to be the date, and a little bit of a time jump!  
Hope you enjoyed!


	5. показывать

_'Of course,of course he looked good I shouldn't have assumed anything less'_ my musing was cut off when he complimented me.

"You look beautiful" he smiled softly as his eyes raked over me, handing me some daisies which shocked me because there my favourite flowers.

"You look beautiful too- in the manly way of course, unless you want me to call you beautiful. I can call you that, but I think you suit the term hunky- oh my god shut me up" I rambled, slowly turning a shade of pink in embarrassment.

His mouth turned up in one of the most breathtaking smiles that I have ever seen. "I don't like shutting you up, when you ramble I think it's adorable" Tommy quipped, taking my hand and taking the coat out of my hands, and helping me put it on.

"Well, not everyone thinks my ramble is a good thing. I'll let you know, that it got me kicked out of a couple of college bars" I retort, facing him. The only response I get is a shrug of the shoulders.

"Well, their missing out on knowing the amazing woman behind the babble" he winked, linking our arms.

"Who would of thought, that the billionaire knew all the right things to say?" I quickly remarked following him out the door.  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
The date went wonderfully, and I was really happy that I decided to go on this date with Tommy. We went to this beautiful Italian restaurant, had a couple glasses of wine then Tommy took me out to Starling City Park. It was the best date I've ever been on! Something about him that made me turn into a love sick teenager. Tommy took me home after, like a perfect gentleman. I got a kiss on the cheek, and an invite to a second date. I want to say, that Oliver knew that we went on this date but the truth is he didn't know, and has no clue. Which shouldn't bother me, because Oliver and Me, there was no such thing. It was two people, who were really close.

Two weeks later, Tommy and I have been on several dates, and now officially dating and no one knows yet.

I sat with Tommy on his couch at the Merlyn mansion, listening to the steady heartbeat of the man himself. Tommy kissed my head.

"So when can I take you around our friends without hiding us?" He whispered in my ear, softly.

I twisted my body around, so I was straddling his lap tugging on his suit jacket; "Soon- really soon, I just- I don't want you to feel embarrassed about me, I know I'm not Laurel Lance and I'll never be the Leggy model type, I just-"

"Don't want to be judged?" Tommy interrupted, with a note of hurt in his voice.

"No! I just, I don't want Laurel to think that I got together with you, because she 'took' Oliver from me, and that's what she thinks, look at the way she looks at me, with pity!" I ranted, leaning my head on his shoulder.

Tommy leaned his chin, on my head and it bugged the hell out of me! I seem like such a jealous asshole, and he just takes it in stride and is the perfect gentleman. "Why are you so perfect?" I mumbled into his collarbone, placing a kiss on it.

"Trust me, I'm not perfect but thank you for thinking that" he chuckled.

"Let's just do it- do it tonight. Not like do it it. I mean let's tell everyone, it's about time because I can see myself with you and I want my friends to know how happy I am, how happy we are"

Tommy chuckled and shook his head softly, kissing my forehead. "Are you sure? I don't want to push you in anything and-"

"Tommy. Shut up" I kindly interrupted, cocking an eyebrow.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy and I walked hand in hand to Verdant ignoring all the shocked looks of the party-goers of the Glades. We were both going our separate ways, him to the club office, and myself to the Foundry, as I turned around to leave, Tommy twirled me around and gave me a light peck on the lips.

"Be safe, and don't do anything stupid" he murmured, kissing me In-between words.

"I'm always safe, in my dark and grungy basement which has a large amount of dust that strangely feels like home" I swayed, to the music kissing his cheek.

"Well well well, when did this happen?" I heard the voice of Thea walking towards us with a smirk on her face.

"It just kind of happened" I shrugged, not ashamed at all.

Thea smiled and shook her head. "I like it- I'm going to ship it. Tolicity? Flommy? Yes, flommy" she nodded in content and walked away, going on her way to serve drinks.

Tommy shook his head, and gave me one last peck and gently shoved me towards the basement doors.  
I keyed in the pin, and brought myself down the stairs to see Sara and Roy training on the mats. Oliver and Dig were sparring, and it was quite a scene to watch.

"Do you guys ever get tired of beating eachother up?" I remarked, taking a seat on my chair.

"No way Lis', it's my favourite part of my day to beat up the guys" Sara laughed, hitting Roy's bamboo stick out of his hands.

"Hey!" Roy teased, picking up his water bottle and downing it.

"So what was with the vague text message?" Oliver asked, walking towards the infirmary table.

"Uh, I was thinking that we uh- take the night off and go to Verdant, because theirs something I want to tell you guys, but I need my second party to be there, and he's a little tied up. Not that I tied him up, because I didn't. I promise, girl guides honour" I rambled.

"Well, I could certainly use a night off, even if it is for a couple hours" Diggle remarked, laughter in his eyes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I opened my bag and threw on my black dress with the open sides, and my hot pink shoes I left my makeup the same, there was no point. Sara threw on her usual, black leggings and tight top which don't get me wrong, she rocked. I watched as she threw on her boots, and grabbed her money and out it in her bra.

"We ready to go?" Sara quipped, spinning me around giving me a once over.

"Yeah, I just hope everything goes well" I mumbled, giving her probably my most pathetic face.

"There's no need to worry, you and Tommy have something special going right now and no one is going to ruin that" Sara spoke, leaning in to give me a hug.

"Your really good with words Miss.Lance" I retorted.

We linked arms and made our way up to the club, I was feeling confident, like I was on top of the world. I looked behind the bar and saw Oliver and Tommy talking, I saw Tommy make eye contact with me and wink. I smiled, with a rosy hue on my face.  
Tommy interrupted, what Oliver was saying and beckoned me over;  
' _well here goes nothing'_

"Hey you two"

"Hey Felicity"

"Hey baby"

"Baby?" Oliver exclaimed in surprise, looking between us two.

"That's what I wanted to talk about that date that I told you I went on, with that amazing girl? That's her- and I don't want this to cause any problems- but Oliver I can see a future with her"

The silence between us three, was dramatic considering we were in a club. Which made it even more dramatic was the fact that I realized in that moment, I was falling in love with Thomas Merlyn, and I never wanted to stop.


	6. حسرة

**Previously.....**

  
_"Hey you two"_

_"Hey Felicity"_

_"Hey baby"_

_"Baby?" Oliver exclaimed in surprise, looking between us two._

_"That's what I wanted to talk about that date that I told you I went on, with that amazing girl? That's her- and I don't want this to cause any problems- but Oliver I can see a future with her"_

_The silence between us three, was dramatic considering we were in a club. Which made it even more dramatic was the fact that I realized in that moment, I was falling in love with Thomas Merlyn, and I never wanted to stop_.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"How long has this been going on for?" Oliver asked, ordering a drink from the bar.

"A couple of weeks, look Oliver- we wanted to tell you sooner" I said, grabbing his forearm smiling softly.

"Then again, we don't need your permission Oliver. We are two grown adults and I know it wasn't the greatest thing to keep it from you, because we know that secrets kept ruin friendships but Felicity was insecure about us and-"

Tommy was cut off by my elbow his ribs, Oliver didn't need to know everything.

"The point is, I don't want you hate Tommy because I was insecure about our relationship and how everyone would react, because let's be honest how does a IT girl get a beautiful billionaire that dated the next District At-"

Tommy squeezed my hip "What did I say about comparisons?"

"Sorry-force of habit" I mumbled.

Oliver threw back his drink quickly and studied the both of us, intently, "How did you manage to hide this from me?" He asked obviously confused to as why is best friends wouldn't of told him, but I could see the mirth in his eyes.

"I can handle my babbling, when I try extra hard" I joked, pulling at the fingers around my waist, which made Tommy look down and smile softly.

"It was hard, but we wanted to make sure this was a serious thing before any one found out- except Sara, Felicity can't hide anything from her" Tommy laughed, which caused a smile to come across my face, as I sheepishly shrugged.

"She's intimidating, and I wanted to gush about it-anyways I can't have you mad at me, I love you too much for this to ruin our relationship" I passionately told Oliver, grabbing his forearm gently.

"You'll always be my girl, Felicity and your not going to lose me, besides who else besides Digg will be the overprotective brother?" Oliver teased giving me a hug, whispering something I couldn't hear to Tommy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was around midnight when we all decided to call it a night, which should be a sign were getting too old.

"I want to just go home and cuddle" I whined to Tommy as the group made our way outside, which caused Tommy to snort.

"I want to go home and watch the latest episode of Doctor Who, which is weird because I've never liked it" Tommy remarked, hailing a cab.

"You love it, don't deny it" I quipped, kissing his cheek. Tommy smiled, and kissed my forehead.

"He's so whipped man, it's hilarious" Roy sniggered to Oliver and Thea.

"She deserves it, Felicity deserves nothing but the best" Sara proudly stated.

I blushed, and huddled into the borrowed- sorry stolen jacket of Tommy's.  
 _I'm glad I made my very own family_.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Six months later........**

  
"You can't be serious Tommy! Of course I'm going to get jealous, you told me that Laurel is in the past, and I find out your having secret dinners with her?!" I screamed, slamming the drawer shut.

"It's dinner Lis! That shouldn't be a problem, I let you go on dinners with Oliver and I never get like this!" I glared at him, and pointed a finger at him.

"I ALWAYS tell you that I think of Oliver like a brother, and I have not SLEPT WITH HIM. you've slept with Laurel, you were going to ask her to marry you, of course I'm going to get mad" I exclaimed, teary eyed.

"She's just going through a rough patch and I was a shoulder to lean on" Tommy explained following me to the bedroom.

"What so Oliver and Laurel break up an she goes right back to you? It's always going to be like this! I don't deserve someone who's only half invested in this relationship!" I yelled, packing stuff that I have lying around his house.

Usually, I wouldn't have blown up about this, but I knew I just knew that Tommy wasn't being honest with me. I went out to the restaurant with Lyla and Sara to talk about my insecurities and saw Tommy and Laurel having a nice dinner, holding hands.  
The major blow was when Laurel kissed the side of his mouth, not directly on the mouth, but enough to prove a point.

"Are you seriously going to leave over something like this?" Tommy exclaimed, looking quite heartbroken.

I let out a sob and nodded. "I've been cheated on once, and I know the signs when it's going to happen. I deserve better Tommy- a lot better!"

"It doesn't mean anything Lis! You know how I feel about you, Laurel is in the past and she's a friend!" Tommy exclaimed grabbing my bag from the bed and threw it to the other end of the room.

"Does she know that? Because she still has hope for you and her, and you know that she holds on to that! Why can't you just devote yourself to me?!" I cried, like a ridiculous teenager suffering her first breakup.

Tommy just looked at me- heartbroken, and completely helpless, "I- I don't know, Lis' I really don't. Your perfect, your everything I've always wanted. But then Laurel has this way with words-"

"You told me, that I was it for you! I fell in love with you and I never wanted to stop, Tommy- never" I went over to the spilled bag and collected all my belongings, and zipped the bag up.

"I love you Lis'" Tommy sighed, and gently squeezed my elbow. "And I'll do anything for me to prove it to you- if you want to leave and not talk to me for a bit, okay. But I will always try to get you back, because what we have? It's love, and I want to marry you and buy a house and have a white picket fence, I know it's early into this but I want it- want it so bad with you"

with tears running down my face, I nodded not sure what I was agreeing with.

"This isn't over, I just need to clear my head; and I need you to figure out who you want to be with- and if it's me, it's only me, got it?" I sighed, exhausted.

I pulled the duffle bag over my shoulder and made my way towards the front door.

"Goodbye Thomas" I whispered, as I opened the front door and made my way to my Mini.  
The moment the car doors shut, I slammed my hands against the steering wheel and sobbed like a teenager.

_'I hope this wasn't the end of my relationship with the love of my life'._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	7. teška tuga

**Previously......**

" _Goodbye Thomas" I whispered, as I opened the front door and made my way to my Mini._  
 _The moment the car doors shut, I slammed my hands against the steering wheel and sobbed like a teenager._

_'I hope this wasn't the end of my relationship with the love of my life'._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hardest part, was pulling away from his place, I kept looking in the rear view mirror waiting for him to run out, and make me stay. But it never happened, I risked a glance at my face and noticed it was all red and puffy, with makeup running down my cheeks. As I walked to my front door, preparing my self for a quiet apartment. I made my way to the bathroom and threw my stuff in the hallway, hoping I had the energy to clean it up later. I sighed as I opened the cupboard and got my makeup remover. I made my to the living room and decided a glass of wine, some ice cream and some tv should keep my mind busy, I was so wrong. I sat in my empty apartment, with a glass of red wine in my hand and mint chip ice cream slowly melting on the table. The tv just seemed to blare nothing- nothing that was important to me anyways.

I pulled out my phone, 13 missed calls from Tommy<3  
I sighed as I flipped through the photos of Tommy and I, smiling softly as the photo of us lying in bed with the covers drawn up.  
' _Why do I love you so much?_ ' I thought heartbroken as I let out a huge sob and threw my phone to the wall, letting out a scream of frustration.

It felt like hours, that I sat in my bed all curled up in my blankets. I heard a loud frantic knocking at my front door, which caused me to groan and look at my clock which read 2:30 am.

"Fuck off- please" I groaned rolling off the bed, stomping to the door.

I swung the door open and there stood a sheepish looking Laurel, which just caused my anger to sky rocket.

"Can I help you?" I asked bitchily.

"Hi I'm Laurel- which you already know, sorry. Wow okay, uhm i heard what happened and I promise nothing happened when we met up. Tommy called me and told me you guys broke up and I just knew that it must of had something to do with me, and- I-I I am so sorry" she cried, looking completely dejected.

"Look Laurel- I really don't want to talk to anyone right now, can you please just go? I'm not mad, I promise. I don't mean to offend you but you really need to leave before I collapse and start ugly sobbing on your expensive blouse" I babbled.

She nodded, sadly and gave me a weak smile as she turned around and walked towards the elevator. I shut the front door and leaned on the door too exhausted to deal with anyone's bullshit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next couple mornings went the same, I called Ray and told him I needed to take some time off.  
On day five, of being locked in my condo, a loud knocking came at my door.

"Felicity open up, it's me" Oliver's voice sounded from outside my door. I sighed as I wrapped my blanket around my shoulders and stood up from the couch. I didn't bother opening the door knowing he would hear the unlocking of the lock, I slowly shuffled back to the sofa and stared blankly at the TV.

I heard Oliver throw his shoes on the shoe rack and make his way to the living room.

"You know, it would be nice to get a phone call that you couldn't come by" Oliver teased.

"I've been busy- sorry" I bluntly replied.

"Yeah, I've heard. Look, I talked to Tommy and I figured out the story, I never meant to get In-between you two" Oliver apologized.

I vehemently shook my head, and grabbed his hand, and smiled softly.  
"It's no-ones fault, Tommy and I rushed into things and he was getting nervous about settling down, so I get that he went to Laurel- they were in love barely over a year ago, Tommy went about it the wrong way that's for damn sure- but it's not your fault, how did you even find out?" I questioned.

Oliver's face turned into a grimace, and rubbed his fingers together, a trait that he does when he's nervous.

"Tommy drunkenly told me, I was checking in on Thea and saw Tommy at the bar- and he had a couple of drinks, and I told him I was going to bring him home to you- which is when the truth came spilling out, about lying to you about the dinner with Laurel and how you finally had enough, then somehow he started to blame me- and I might of punched him when he mentioned he made you cry" Oliver sheepishly explained, finishing the last bit really fast.

"You got into a fight with him?! Oh my gosh, this is what I never wanted- I didn't want to get in-between you two" I cried, wiping my eyes.

"You didn't- Felicity your family- and no matter how much you will disagree, your like another little sister and I'll always be there- and so will John. Speaking of which, I made him wait in the car, and I would give him the signal it's safe to come in here" Oliver laughed, giving me a side hug.

For the first time, in almost a week a genuine laugh escaped through my lips.

"Can you guys stay a while?" I whisper laughed.

"Of course- sorry, he waited to long to come get me" Dig shrugged.

The rest of the day, I had my big brothers keeping me company. They kept my mind busy, and i realized that no matter what- even with that whole awkward "feelings" stage, Oliver Queen will always be in my life- as family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, I woke up and started doing some cleaning. I wasn't going to be one of those girls anymore who cried and waited by the phone for a phone call from a guy. I was going to get my life on track, if Laurel is what Tommy wants, then I love him enough to give him that. Even if I have to repeat that to myself every morning.

Several hours later, a knocking came to my door, I turned down my radio and made my way to the door opening it fast.  
"Mrs.Tanner I haven't seen your ca-aht" I explained exasperated. "Oh wow- your not my neighbour"

I looked Tommy up and down, and took note of the redness around his eyes, and the fact that he looks exhausted.  
"Hey Lis' can we talk?" Tommy asked, tugging on my heartstrings.

I nodded, and opened the door letting him in. I walked towards the radio, and turned it down to a bear minimum.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked, awkwardly.

"No thank you- I just really want to talk to you".

I nodded and made my way to my sofa set, and plopped down grabbing my bag of jelly-beans.

"I want to start of with, I know you just hate me with a burning passion and that I'm such an asshole. But I want you to know that I'm so in love with you, I love you more than life itself- and these last couple of days have been torture, because every morning I wake up alone in bed all I want to see is your blonde hair splashed over my pillow, and knowing that I have the best woman to wake up to. I want to have little kids running around, and I don't want it with anyone else but you" Tommy explained, with tears in his eyes.

I cried and nodded, agreeing with everything he said.

"I love you too- but you look exhausted and I'm exhausted and all I want to do is take you to bed and cuddle- so that's what we're going to do" I grabbed his hand and dragged him up, and dragged him to the bedroom.

I kissed him softly and slowly walked to the bed, put my head on the pillow and patted the spot beside me.

"Let's sleep- and when we wake up all will be forgotten"

He nodded and crawled in beside me and placed his arms around my waist and put his head in my neck and kissed there softly.  
"Love you- always" I murmured, as we quickly fell asleep- in eachothers arms.


	8. תינוק

**Previously.....**

_"I love you too- but you look exhausted and I'm exhausted and all I want to do is take you to bed and cuddle- so that's what we're going to do" I grabbed his hand and dragged him up, and dragged him to the bedroom._

_I kissed him softly and slowly walked to the bed, put my head on the pillow and patted the spot beside me._

_"Let's sleep- and when we wake up all will be forgotten"_

_He nodded and crawled in beside me and placed his arms around my waist and put his head in my neck and kissed there softly._  
 _"Love you- always" I murmured, as we quickly fell asleep- in eachothers arms._  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The sun shone brightly through the drapes of my bedroom casting a light sunrise glow upon the bed. Tommy slept still beside me, and he looked so peaceful doing it. I softly stroked the side of his jaw, giggling softly at the unkept beard.

Tommy hummed in enjoyment,sleepily opening his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful" he murmured, kissing my lips gently.

"Good morning to you too" I whispered against his lips, making the kissing a little bit more passionate.   
We spent the whole day together in that bed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment I think I realized that I loved him, must of been the time I was so sick I couldn't even move from the bathroom. Tommy came right in the bathroom door sat on the edge of the bathtub and put my hair in an elastic and rubbed my back. No one has ever shown me that much care over myself having a flu, I told him to go home and I'll call him later and all I could think of saying was 'I love you'. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So wait, Laurel has a new boyfriend and wants us all to meet him? Laurel doesn't even like me Tommy" I explained, completely and honestly confused.

"How many times do I have to tell you, she does like you she just has a hard time expressing and showing it" Tommy explained fixing his tie.

I sighed as I tried to get my feet into my heels, but noticed they were super swollen.

"Well, looks like I'm wearing flats" I mumbled grumpily wondering why my --Feet would be so swollen, I shook my head to clear my thoughts and threw my flats on and grabbed my purse.

"I'm ready!" I yelled from the bottom of the staircase.

"I'm right beside you- you look beautiful" Tommy complimented me kissing me briefly.

"Thank you- now let's get this over with because that mac and cheese in the fridge is calling my name" I giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
As we got to the restaurant we noticed quite the awkward sight. The table consisted of Laurel, her new boyfriend Tod or Ted something like that, Oliver and Thea and the two empty spots for Tommy and my self.

"Sorry were late, I couldn't find any damn shoes" I bashfully quipped.

"It's alright Lis'" Thea smiled, giving me the 'I want to be anywhere else but here' look.

I gave her a wink and sat to the right Thea, and Tommy sat to my left.

"This is Tommy and Felicity, a couple friends of mine". Laurel introduced, as I grabbed a dinner roll from the basket in the middle.

"Nice to meet you-" Tommy was cut off from Oliver speaking up.

"So, can I ask why we were all dragged out here?" Oliver asked not unkind.

"I just wanted some of my friends to be introduced to the newest person in my life, Ollie"

"I don't even remember the last time i talked to you" Thea whispered underneath her breath, only loud enough so I can hear.

_'Holy hell is this ever awkward'_

I quickly pulled out the menu and took a quick look through, deciding on the Alfredo lasagna.  
Tommy grabbed my hand that was resting on his knee, and lifted it to his hand and kissed it softly, giving me a gentle smile afterwards.

'Love you' I mouthed

'Love you too'  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The dinner started to light up after dinner, I started to appreciate the fact that everyone was trying to be nice to Laurels new boyfriend, and don't get me wrong he's a nice guy. Laurel was obviously deeply infatuated, and couldn't keep her eyes off him, and he was the same.

After all the goodbyes Tommy and I made out way back to my apartment.

As we walked in the door, I couldn't help but smile idioticly for the fact that my apartment didn't really just look like my apartment anymore. There was Tommy's stuff scattered around, and it looked like an actual home.  
I slowly took off my flats and sighed I'm satisfaction when my feet were able to breathe.

"My feet hurt so much" I groaned, waddling to the sofa set in the living room.

"Maybe you should go to the doctors about them, babe".

I pouted "you know what happens when you go to the doctors?- needles"

Tommy swooped in and stole a kiss, "too bad, I'm taking you tomorrow morning- now I don't know about you, but I want some loving from my girlfriend" Tommy exclaimed pulling me up from the sofa giving me a long and hard kiss, I kissed back like it was like breathing, almost natural.

Tommy gripped me from the bum and lifted me up so I was wrapped around his waist. With the kiss not stopping he walked to our bedroom, and slammed the door with his foot causing a laugh out of me. He gently laid me on the bed, almost treating me like porcelain, like I was the most breakable thing in the world.

"Make love to me" I whispered quietly into his neck, placing a sweet kiss.

And that he did.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat in the doctors office with Tommy as he read through People Magazine.

"Anything interesting?" I quipped, making him look at me.

"Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab" Tommy said, shaking his head.

" _Felicity Smoak_?" The doctor called, bringing our attention to her.

I walked in with Tommy by my side, and took a seat on the uncomfortable bed.

"So what's the verdict? And don't say allergies, because I don't want anymore" I joked.

"No, it's not allergies. Your blood work came back, and I want to be the first to say congratulations your 13 weeks pregnant"

I think I heard him wrong, he didn't say pregnant right? _Right_?!

" _Pregnant_?" Tommy and I asked in disbelief, at the same moment.


	9. baby baby.

**Previously.....**

_I sat in the doctors office with Tommy as he read through People Magazine._

_"Anything interesting?" I quipped, making him look at me._

_"Lindsay Lohan is back in rehab" Tommy said, shaking his head._

_"Felicity Smoak?" The doctor called, bringing our attention to her._

_I walked in with Tommy by my side, and took a seat on the uncomfortable bed._

_"So what's the verdict? And don't say allergies, because I don't want anymore" I joked._

_"No, it's not allergies. Your blood work came back, and I want to be the first to say congratulations your 13 weeks pregnant"_

_I think I heard him wrong, he didn't say pregnant right? Right?!_

_"Pregnant?" Tommy and I asked in disbelief, at the same time._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I quickly put my hands to my stomach, looking at where my hands are placed in wonder. I felt Tommy rubbing my back slowly, but could also feel his bouncing leg. I looked up at Tommy with tears in my eyes,smiling as a tear ran down his face. The doctor gave us a smile and left the room, giving us some time to process.

"Are you okay with this? I know this is really unexpected but-" Tommy interrupted me with a firm kiss on the lips, immediately shutting me up.

"I'm more than okay right now, baby" he choked out, smiling.

I leaned into his side and gave a short laugh, which turned into a giggle; "We're going to be parents, I'm going to be a mom."

I felt Tommy kiss my forehead, and whisper "We're going to raise our child better than our parents did" , I nodded along and gave my slightly swollen belly a stroke.

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night I called Oliver and told him that I couldn't come to my other job, as I wasn't feeling well. That night I found myself staring at my mirror with only shorts and a bra on, analyzing my stomach from every angle imaginable. You could see the slight bump in my stomach, very noticeable if your paying very close attention.

_'How could I totally not notice that I haven't gotten my period in that long?_ ' I question myself, shaking my head in amazement.

"Baby? You still want some dinner?" Tommy yelled from the kitchen, making my head snap up and look at the clock. 7pm already.

"Yeah, I'm coming" I pull on one of Tommy's shirts and walk my way towards the kitchen, smiling softly seeing him watching something on the small tv in the kitchen, while making some juice.

"The question is, are you ready for dinner?" I cheekily reply to his earlier comment. He fake glared and threw a dishtowel, which I caught.

I sat down and put the dishcloth on the chair beside me and waited for Tommy to sit down to begin eating.

"So I was thinking, horrible movie marathon with some cuddles on the couch, from your adorable boyfriend" Tommy suggested with a saucy wink, Making me giggle.

"Thomas Meryln, you know all the right things to say to me" I snort, rolling my eyes.

After dinner, we cuddled up on the couch with his hand gently resting on my stomach stroking it softly with his thumb.

"I love you- you know that?" Tommy asked, looking into my blue eyes.

"Of course I do and I- no _we_ love you too" Tommy nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'm scared I'm going to be too much like my dad- I want our child to be loved, cared for and have everything I never had; a stable home" Tommy confessed, frowning slightly.

"You will never be your father Thomas, you are so kind, and so amazing and our baby will have all of that, I know we didn't have the best childhoods or single parents but we're going to make this, we're going to be the best god damn parents out there!" I stressed, looking up at him.

"Your right, we can do this; this is going to be a good thing" Tommy said confidently, kissing my cheek.

We watched the movie with little attention, as we kept passing little questions back and forth regarding baby information. That night we crawled into bed, and fell asleep peacefully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jumped out of bed, and ran into the bathroom tripping over a pair of shoes to get to the toilet. I haven't felt this horrible in years- scratch that my entire life.

I felt a hand rubbing my back, and someone helping me put my hair in an elastic; and a gentle kiss on the head.

"You okay baby?" Tommy asked, voice masked by sleep.

"Yeah, it's just some morning sickness- it's to be expected" I yawned, putting my head against the wall.

I looked into the bedroom and saw the time on the wall- 5:30 am ; I sighed and slowly got up with help from Tommy.

"We can sleep for another hour, let's take full advantage of this blessing" I mumbled walking to the bed and falling on my back, burrowing myself in blankets.

An hour later, my alarm was blaring loud making me glare at the clock hoping it will burst into flames.

"Glaring won't help, up we get 'Lis" Tommy laughed.

I grumbled walking to the shower, and getting all my stuff situated. I turned the shower on, and slowly undressed; getting in when the water was perfect.

I washed my hair with my favourite strawberry shampoo, and hummed a melody to myself. Once out of the shower I opened the door to the bathroom to let out some steam and yawned plugging in the hair dryer. I decided to just blow dry my hair and leave it in my natural style, and putting on minimal makeup but made sure I used my new nude coloured lipstick. I put on a pair of my black leggings and a burgundy sweater dress, with a pair of nude heels. I did a double check and noticed that you couldn't really see my baby bump, which kind of made me disappointed; I shrugged and made my way to the living room noticing it was 7:30, and that I needed to get going.

"Bye babe, call me later?" I questioned, fixing his tie and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Have a good day- and don't over do it okay?" He exclaimed kissing me back.

I rolled my eyes, laughing and walked out the door.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning Felicity" the front desk security guard George greeted, giving a friendly wave.

"Hey George, how's the kids doing?" I asked, giving him my ID badge to him to scan it.

"They are good, asking for cellphones and Facebook" he chuckled, handing my ID back giving me the all clear.  
"Pre-teens will do that to you" I laughed, waving to him as I make my way to the elevator, feeling oddly positive about the day ahead.

I came smiling into the office, throwing my purse into my desk drawer and starting up my computers checking my phone for messages.  
I opened the curtains, looking at the morning traffic below.

"Morning Felicity" Oliver said, making me jump and turn around and glare at him. I pointed a finger at him.  
"I'm getting you a bell for your Christmas gift, mister" I huffed.

"I will be waiting for it" he laughed walking into the office behind, switching on his office lights.  
I laughed missing the banter between us in the morning, happy that Oliver got his family's company back.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed as I finished up for the night and got my computers shut down, ready just to climb into bed, but Tommy was working late tonight and I had arrow duty.

I drove to Verdant and made my way down to the Foundry, hearing the signs of sticks hitting sticks. Roy was duelling it out with Oliver- again and Sara was waiting for me at my desks with my usual hot chocolate.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you" I smiled, taking the chocolate drink out of her hands.

"Today? No" Sara smiled, kissing my cheek in greeting. I smiled and looked around to see if anyone was looking our way, the coast was clear.

"I'm pregnant" I whispered into her ear, and leaned back waiting to see her reaction.

Her face broke out into the biggest smile I've ever seen, and she jumped up and started doing her happy dance, making squealing noises as she does so.

Oliver, Dig and Roy all looked over, but quickly averted their gaze, not wanting to get involved.

"Oh my god, this is amazing 'Lis" she laughed, with tears in her eyes giving me a hug. I smiled and returned the hug and sat back down.

I took Saras hand and put it on my stomach and whispered "Auntie Sara already loves you" which caused tears to run down Sara's face.

"That I do, baby"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! I was having total writers block, and I was listening to some sappy music last night and it totally came back to me. So bear with me guys!


End file.
